good god i'm tired. i try to go to bed earlier, i promise. but it's just not happening. 5 hrs here, 6 hrs there. and I've got no excuse for it... just the same way i have no excuse for playing with fire. and might I add that mentally I do everything I can to keep that flame off.

this is why keeping me busy is a good idea - keep in with the distractions and less time to think about it. and this is why i've picked up my workouts again... trying to take those physical frustrations and turn them into something really productive. and working out is way more productive than drinking nonstop - which i will be doing this evening with the meyers babes. i'm definitely looking forward to that!