it's raining outside. i can hear the cars swishing and swashing in the wetness of the asphalt. in my mind and in my dreams it was an urban lullaby of white noise, constantly keeping my brain engaged with its surroundings. and so it has been - constantly engaged. i woke up numerous times overnight, had a difficult time falling asleep, and even in my deepest of sleeps, i kept on thinking and making that never ending task list. but somehow, in the midst of all of it, i find myself calm.

maybe it's all of these years, maybe it's my personality, or maybe it's from emily austin's poem about me, "her face was trained smooth, but not her eyes" ... regardless of the reason, i'm the calm in the middle of the storm, and it's definitely storming outside.