dan asked me 'why is everything ok?' yesterday, after calling me out on me pretending i was fine. and that's when i realized that while i've been the backbone for paul and i the past six months, and i've been stepping up things both at meyers and for aperture, it's all just starting to wear away at me.

d: how are you doing?

h: ok. you?

d: mmhmm, you seemed miserable 30 mins ago

h: shit, you are way too perceptive for my own good...

d: so, why is everything "ok"?

it's been a whirlwind of a work week: the raise, and the nonstop presentation packets, and quick turnaround of projects. then, and coming home and finding everything a disaster, realizing paul's still not well, trying to find comfort in a house that seems sad and stressed in its own. and finally, for aperture, nonstop meetings every evening, booking two jobs!, photo book designs, marketing, photo booth outreach, etc.

i need a break.

i need to book a cabin somewhere, an escape, a proper getaway. i need nature to take over and calm me down. i need to feel the serenity of a mountain top, the calm if water, the soft glow of the sun, the smell of spring, the sound of wind and bird chatter... i need to take better care of myself.